Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
