Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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