...so i touched it.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
