Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
