how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
