she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
he shaved USA in his pubs
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
