i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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