Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm really busy with my period
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
