So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
