Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
