I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
We named our party play list daddy issues
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
