i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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