"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
is that a dick in a sweater?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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