...so i touched it.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize