stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
