You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
