just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
