You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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