He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
