bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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