only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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