I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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