My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
