North Korea, Best Korea!
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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