In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize