OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
