so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
