They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
