And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
