eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My vagina just recognized that song.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
