Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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