i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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