no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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