you mean i was at the winter classic?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
