Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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