Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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