I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
