Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize