if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
