They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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