I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
