Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
