Someone shit on the floor
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
