Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
