He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
