Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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