hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
