On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
