who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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