he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
