lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
