you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize