Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Randomize
