Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
