My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
