we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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