i just made my gag reflex go away.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
