Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
