if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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