I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
