My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We don't watch enough power rangers
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
