Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
so let's talk penis.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You made out with two different species that night
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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