Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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