this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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