Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
