You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize