He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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