He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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