You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
