She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
