just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
