dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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