Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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